Body and Soul: What does your posture say about your personality?

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What does your posture say about your personality?

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How do posture or body language give insight into a person and how they are feeling/ what they are thinking/ their personality? 

In a similar way that our facial expressions signal our emotional state, our body language can also reveal a host of information to an observer. This is a significant part of communication, which is typically overlooked.

When we experience emotion, our brain triggers physiological changes within our body which affect bodily functions like heart rate, digestion, blood pressure and reproduction. Some of these processes speed up, others slow down, this is an involuntary bodily response which acts to prepare us for possible consequences—to aid our survival. 

As an example, the emotion of fear prepares us to fight or flee from the potential threat. Chemicals such as adrenalin are released and blood is sent to larger muscles in our legs–in case we need to run. Digestion slows down, blood pressure, heart and breathing rates speed up and muscles tense.

In most cases, we don’t feel these changes occur, but instead, we experience the physical feelings that are related to the physiological changes. These include butterflies in the stomach, sweating, shaky legs/hands and a higher-pitched or shaky voice (resulting from the tightening of the vocal cords). 

Some of these changes manifest in the body and face, giving an observer insight into an emotional state. So during the emotion of fear we might observe shaking, high blink rate, sweating, heavier breathing (chest rise and fall) and raised/tense shoulders. We can usually hear the shaky, higher-pitched voice and we can also observe the telltale facial expression of fear–tense/stretched lips, eyes wide open with tension in the upper lids and raised/tense eyebrows. 

What I’ve mentioned so far are largely involuntary reactions, but there can also be nonverbal behaviours resulting from the emotion. In the case of fear, we would likely observe distancing, blocking and comforting/pacifying behaviours, which I’ll explain later. 

When we start to pay attention to the host of giveaway voluntary and involuntary nonverbal behaviours, we can gain much insight into a person’s true emotional state. And when we put this together with other situational information, we gain insight into their thoughts and feelings towards people, objects or topics. Because, behavioural responses happen within the moment, so when you hit on a topic somebody doesn’t like, a behavioural response will occur. 

Looking at the bigger picture, spending more time observing nuances in behaviour over time, can give us insight into personality. For example, seeing somebody expressing fear continuously, suggests they would score high for neuroticism, the sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident scale, one of the most significant dimensions of personality. 

What are some of the biggest things you can tell about a person based on these? 

To make understanding body language easier, we can simplify emotions into feelings of comfort (positive emotion) and discomfort (negative emotion). This gives us a good level of insight, enough transform the way we communicate. Behaviours relating to discomfort are typically distancing, blocking and stress behaviours. These behaviours tend to be absent when people are feeling positive, confident and happy.

Distancing Behaviours

When faced with something we don’t like, our psychological feelings towards it, whether a topic and object or a person, manifest into a physical distancing. This is a very common behaviour which can be observed again and again, in most conversations. Distancing behaviours take many forms including leaning back, stepping back and walking away. Look even closer and it can be as subtle as looking or turning the head away. Most commonly, you’ll observe a leaning back. 

If we’re using proxemics (distance in space) as a guide to understanding people, we can gain just as much information about people’s preferences, when they look, turn, lean, step or walk towards something. This shows interest and engagement–positive emotion. Again, these behaviours are so common, they are everywhere around you. 

Blocking Behaviours

As soon as we feel the slightest discomfort, whether it’s from the cool air of the aircon, the thought of something we haven’t performed well at, or the fact that there’s a stranger in the room–we block with our body or objects. Typically, we display these behaviours around the torso, because that’s the area of the body which contains vital organs. It’s a survival mechanism–the body responding to a threat which could be real or perceived.

When observed, blocking behaviours are generally perceived negatively, coming across as cold, unwelcoming and unapproachable, so it’s best to avoid these behaviours yourself. And be mindful, when observing them, that you are not necessarily the cause of the discomfort. This holds true for any nonverbal behaviour you observe–just because you’re interacting with someone when you spot a negative emotion, doesn’t mean it stems from you. 

Stress Behaviours

There are many stress behaviours, which can be observed in the face and body. One involuntary behaviour to look for is a high blink rate. This gives an accurate reading on whether stress is present. The higher the blink rate, the higher the stress. Conversely, a low blink rate shows comfort and engagement. 

Some stress behaviours are movement-based, like pacing, rocking, fidgeting and swaying. You might feel you haven’t seen these often, but they are more common than people think. When you start to pay attention to nonverbal communication, it can be eye-opening to see how common these behaviours are. 

Many stress behaviours can turn into a habit and be present when there is no stress. Typically these are comforting/pacifying behaviours, which help us to soothe our discomfort because they involve touch. Touch releases oxytocin, a feel-good hormone, which also increases our confidence levels. Hand to face or body touching increases–nose touching, ear pulling, neck touching, leg/arm rubbing, etc–these are all self-soothing behaviours. Other stress behaviours include wringing hands, cracking knuckles, biting lips and nails, and ‘ventilating’ to cool oneself down.

If you could explain some postures or body language might show for each of the below:

Confident

Confident body language is seen in an upright, extended posture–when a person takes up more space than their body size. For example, arms are open (no blocking behaviours) or extended to some degree. Its most extreme form is the universal body language of pride, imagine a race winner, with upwardly outstretched arms and head and chest pointing towards the sky, sometimes we refer to this as a ’power-pose’.

Not confident 

The opposite of pride is the universal body language of defeat, where the body closes in on itself–the head drops, arms, torso and legs are drawn inwards. Imagine a loser of a race collapsing to the floor, head in hands. When we experience a negative emotion, we often feel defeated and our body reflects that. In a more subtle form, we’d expect to see blocking behaviours, with hands together or arms crossed over the torso in a self-hug. Posture would be slightly stooped, with the head pointing slightly downwards. 

Worried

The emotion and expression of fear are often present when people don’t feel confident, often it’s the root cause. Fear (worry or anxiety) has a distinct facial expression–tense/stretched lips, eyes wide open with tension in the upper lids and raised/tense eyebrows. We’d also expect to see raised/tense shoulders and stress behaviours. It can also be seen in the hands, with straight and/or interlocked fingers. Or tense fingers gripping hold or something, for example, the arm of a chair. 

Relaxed 

When people feel relaxed and comfortable, we’re more likely to observe smiling or a neutral expression and their muscles will be relaxed. Fingers are a good place to look to see if tension is, or isn’t present. Body language is more likely to be open, without blocking behaviours. 

We might see some self-soothing behaviours, which I listed under stress behaviours. These are comforting behaviours that can be present during comfort and discomfort, because sometimes we like to bring more comfort to an already pleasant experience, like twirling hair while reading a good book. When relaxed, movements would typically be slower and calmer and of course, no other negative behaviours or expressions would be present. 

Upset

When people are upset, they are experiencing the emotion of sadness, which stems from some kind of loss–loss of a relationship, opportunity, object, life, etc. Sadness is one of our core emotions, along with fear, anger, disgust, happiness and surprise, so it has a distinct facial expression. It’s quite an easy expression to spot, with a downturned mouth and inner corners of the eyebrows pulled inwards and upwards. During sadness, body language is likely to look defeated. 

Lying 

Contrary to popular belief, there are no single nonverbal cues which indicate deception. Typically, the voice is higher pitched and stress behaviours increase when someone is lying. However these are also present during fear/anxiety, therefore we can never assume someone is lying, just because we spot them. The closest we can get to spotting deception is when words and behaviour are mismatched. For example when somebody says, “Yes”, while shaking their head. Another important nonverbal cue which can signal deception is a one-sided shrug (one shoulder only). This doesn’t indicate deception per se, instead, it indicates they aren’t confident in what they are saying. This is the opposite of a full shrug which involves both shoulders and signals confidence in words. 

Angry 

Anger is another core emotion with a distinct expression–eyebrows are lowered and drawn together, eyes narrow, lips are tense and drawn inwards. If anger is more extreme, becoming aggressive, we might see a chin jut and a flaring of the nostrils. In the body, we would likely see a puffed out posturing, head and chest forward and clenched fists. 

How accurate is using non verbal cues to determine these things?

Nonverbal behaviour can be more accurate than spoken words, giving us a true reflection of emotion. This is because most people aren’t honest about their feelings, concealing emotions and feelings for many reasons—like to fit in with social norms, to protect themselves or to protect others. This is completely normal. Even a response to a simple greeting like, “How are you?”, often, isn’t honest.  

I mentioned that some nonverbal cues are involuntary, but even voluntary cues happen without most people being consciously aware them—are you aware of your body language right now? These nonverbal communication cues are reactive, stemming from a more primitive part of the brain, in response to emotion. Whereas, spoken words come from parts of the brain responsible for cognition and language. Our sentences are deliberately constructed, depending on who we’re talking to, the situation and the message we want them to receive.

When you take the time to observe nonverbal behaviour, you gain a deeper understanding of others. It’s empowering because it allows you to adapt your own behaviour and offer a response which is more appropriate than one which takes words at face value. Naturally, communication improves as you ‘listen’ and respond better. Empathy and emotional intelligence also improve and interactions and relationships become more positive.