The Body Language of Trust
Snap Judgements and the Innate Drive to Survive
Over many thousands of years, our ancestors have relied on nonverbal communication cues like body language, expression and tone of voice as a survival mechanism, to gauge whether an outsider was friend or foe. It was a matter of life or death. What is their intention towards me? Are they carrying a weapon? Is my life in imminent danger? Are they capable of harming me?
Today, most of us are in the fortunate position to not have the same level of risk faced by our ancestors, with society being comparatively stable–the risks we face are less of a threat to our life. But we don’t have to look far, to find instability and fragility in other places, where potential danger is a very real part of everyday life.
Interestingly, people who are very good at recognising and understanding subtle nonverbal cues are often those who have grown up experiencing dangerous situations and encounters. These people have to quickly learn to guide their behaviour by visual and auditory cues that signal danger, to keep themselves safe.
Just recently, a young woman attended one of my classes on reading body language. When I posed questions, she always had an answer and was mostly correct. At the end of the session, as I chatted and thanked her for coming, I asked how she knew so much about nonverbal communication and whether she had previously attended training. She was open in telling me she hadn’t, but throughout life had always found herself in dangerous situations where her life was at risk. It wasn’t my place to pry, so I didn’t push for more to satiate my curiosity.
Judgements of Trust and Competence
Even though most of us live our lives in relatively safe environments, the innate drive to keep ourselves safe persists, as it always has. At work, behind the scenes, we’re picking up on sensory cues and using our judgement to determine whether or not we are at risk from the people we encounter.
Amy Cuddy and other researchers studying trust and first impressions, have found that universally, regardless of culture, when we encounter a stranger we seek to establish whether or not we can trust them, asking ourselves, ‘What is this person’s intention towards me?’. This is a subconscious process, of which, observing nonverbal communication cues is an important part.
Since this is universal, it’s happened to you thousands of times, with every person you have encountered. You have judged, you have been judged, and the judgements will continue.
The split-second judgement on trust is followed by an assessment of competence. Again this is subconscious and universal, regardless of culture, we ask, “Is this person capable of carrying out that intention?”. Trust and competence are tied up together, at the heart of encounters with strangers and new interactions.
This raises the question, how are you being perceived by others and what can you do to improve their perception? From your perspective, how a passerby judges you is perhaps less important than how a recruiter, new manager or potential client perceives you.
Nonverbal Friend Signals
Nonverbal signals that put people at ease help others to feel trust. It’s simple, it’s just a case of showing ‘friend’ signals. The most obvious friend signal is smiling.
Nonverbal signals that put people at ease help others to feel trust. It’s simple, it’s just a case of showing ‘friend’ signals. The most obvious friend signal is smiling.
Compare an angry face to a smiling face. Which is more likely to put you at ease?
The Smile as a Trust Indicator
A smile is an obvious friend signal, but it’s underrated. Researchers from a 2016 study showed participants photographs of four women. In some photographs, the women were shown smiling and in others, seen by other participants, they weren’t. Then, between one and six months later, the participants got to meet the women face-to-face, for a twenty-minute interaction. The participants were then asked to evaluate the women making judgments of likability and personality.
The results showed that the participant’s ratings of the women were heavily coloured by their initial reaction to the photograph—if the woman was smiling in the photograph, the ratings were more positive. Putting this into perspective, we’re talking about perceptions from a twenty-minute interaction, being swayed by a split second assessment of a photograph six months earlier!
Hands as a Trust Indicator
The hands also play a role in determining whether or not we should trust someone. From an evolutionary perspective it would have been crucial to know whether the person approaching was carrying a weapon–is this a friend or a foe? If no weapon was present, a certain level of ease would ensue.
Today, most everyday encounters are unlikely to involve weapons, but this doesn’t stop a quick subconscious assessment of the hands. The same mechanisms that kept humans safe for thousands of years are still at play. If the hands aren’t visible—then something feels off. Are your hands visible when you meet new people or are they tucked away in your pockets?
This is also important for public speakers. While a podium can feel like a safe place to hide behind, it blocks the audience from seeing you—your hands and body—and building feelings of trust.
While disappearing hands isn’t necessarily a sign of deception, there is a connection. When conversations get awkward, hands often disappear under the table, into pockets, up sleeves—wherever they can hide. When working with teachers, talking about the importance of hands and trust, they usually share observations of student’s hands, suddenly disappearing when they are in trouble.
Smiling and hands are just two nonverbal friend signals—just enough knowledge for you to assess and observe how you and others use them. But before you leave, while we’re on the topic of hands, lets’s take a quick look at how you can use them as you talk, to improve how people perceive you.
Use Purposeful Hand Gestures To Add Meaning
Using hands to illustrate words and express emotion as you talk has several benefits for you and your conversation partner or audience.
It helps people to interpret and understand your message. You’re communicating on two levels and they, both see and hear your message.
It also helps people to recall your message later.
It keeps people engaged, giving them more sensory stimulus—something to look at as they listen.
We’re not sure exactly how this works, but research suggests it frees up mental capacity for the speaker. Somehow, when you talk with your hands the extra cognitive energy can help in different ways, like better articulating your message, taking in and recalling more information.
If you’re giving a presentation, rehearsing beforehand using your hands can help to recall your message as you present.
So if you don’t already use your hands to talk, try it. Just make sure you’re not waving them around erratically. Make your gestures meaningful by visually describing your words where you can and keep your gestures mostly around mid-torso height.
