Nonverbal Communication and Influence: Six tips to make a great impression
First Impressions are Formed Within Seconds
Research shows that first impressions are formed within seconds–before you speak. They tend to be lasting as future performance is typically enhanced or tainted by the initial perception.
If you’re freaking out at this, don’t, because by putting a little extra effort into how you look and how you come across nonverbally, you can positively influence perceptions.
To learn more about the importance of first impressions read this post: First Impressions, Your split second Opportunity for Success.
First Impressions and Nonverbal Communication
What are you Communicating Nonverbally?
People create their impression of you through the signals you send nonverbally–facial expressions, gait, stance, posture, gestures, outward aspect (clothing, jewellery, glasses, hair, make-up, tattoos, etc.) and vocal quality. Even your car and the way that you drive it, if seen, will communicate a message, forming part of that impression.
If you know you’re going to meet new people who could potentially impact your life, prospective employers, for example, start to pay attention to your appearance and actions from the moment you approach your destination. Work on improving the impression you make for influence and positive outcomes.
Take a moment right now, to re-evaluate how you may be coming across to people–what are your body, expressions, actions and outward aspect communicating to people? Having this awareness and carefully observing yourself during these interactions, is the first step in improving your first impression–small steps that can have a significant impact.
Personal Presentation
Nonverbal Communication and Body Language
Personal presentation is about the way you come across to others, nonverbally. It covers your outward aspect, body language, expressions, gestures and vocal quality.
Let’s hone in on some of these with six nonverbal communication tips, essential for creating a killer first impression.
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Outward Aspect–What you Wear, How you Look
A good rule to follow, in a professional context, is ‘one step up’ (dressing one step above your client). This shows nonverbal respect–you are worth dressing up for; however, I’m still on your level. Dressing more than one step up can make your client feel less of a connection to you–as if you’re on entirely different levels. We know that connection is an important part of influence.
Make sure you look professional in the work that you do–wear formal or casual business attire, dependent on your clientele–be clean, neat and tidy and cover tattoos.
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Show Confidence–Via Stance and Posture
Confidence forms a large part of the creation of a first impression. It’s important because confidence levels equate to competence levels. If you’re perceived as lacking in confidence in the words that you speak, then why should anyone buy into you?
Confidence–and competence–come across nonverbally through the way you hold your body. Show confidence through an upright posture, with shoulders low and back; arms relaxed at your sides (ready to jump into action as you start to talk); forehead, chin and chest facing up and out just slightly); legs around shoulder-width apart.
Get used to this as your usual stance. Practise it until it feels natural. Not only will people perceive you as confident–and competent–but even more important is the effect it will have on you, you’ll begin to feel more confident too!
Each time you find yourself slouching, or crossing your arms or legs over your body, correct yourself. Before long you’ll adopt it as your natural stance, along with improved self-confidence.
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Touch
Touch is important because it helps to create a connection. Why? Because oxytocin, the hormone of connection and bonding is released, in both parties, when we touch somebody.
There’s no denying that touch is a touchy subject and many forms of touch are inappropriate in a work setting. A handshake or a high-five are appropriate means of touch that shouldn’t get you in trouble, although a high-five can be too casual and a handshake too formal.
Handshake
It’s important to realise that the handshake isn’t universal, it’s a cultural gesture, a reflection of the culture or society in which we grew up. Many cultures prefer other types of gesture as their primary means of greeting, for example, an abrazo–a hug or embrace used in Spain and Latin America, or even a bow–used in some Asian countries. Therefore, contrary to popular misconceptions, the handshake says nothing about a person’s confidence or power–and not everybody appreciates it.
It’s important not to create feelings of discomfort as you meet somebody, so consider the situation and circumstances before you assume a handshake and approach with an outstretched arm.
If a handshake feels appropriate, make it feel good. It’s often the first time you’re touching somebody, so it’s essential that it’s a good one.
What Makes a Good Handshake?
Straight- no twisting or turning power plays!
Make eye contact.
Dry–if you’re holding a drink, hold it with a serviette or wipe your hands first.
Mirror the pressure you receive (show nonverbal respect).
Don’t grimace if you don’t like the handshake you received. Remember, you’re trying to create a good impression through feelings of comfort and by showing nonverbal respect.
That last point leads beautifully into the next tip.
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Facial Expression
Initial positive expressions–and gestures–of greeting or acknowledgement are incredibly important and influential in forming a positive first impression. Why? Because they help to establish trust–they are ‘friend signals’.
Smile
What better friend signal than a smile? It’s essential to create a great impression and tell your client, interviewer or colleague, "I’m happy to see you".
There is a difference between a polite smile and a genuine smile, which is a whole new topic for another post. In a nutshell, a genuine smile is a universal gesture, innate within everybody, regardless of culture. It’s seen in the eyes as well as the mouth, as the cheek muscles are activated, pushing up into the eyes. A polite smile, on the other hand, is seen only in the mouth.
It’s a genuine smile you should be aiming for. It’s hard to fake, but there are ways to do it. The simplest is to think of a happy thought or moment. A polite smile will bridge the gap if you're struggling with a genuine smile–it’s far better than a grimace.
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Facial Expression
Eyebrow Flash
Anecdotally, even more powerful than the smile is an eyebrow flash–a quick raise of the eyebrows. Our eyes and our pupils, naturally dilate when we see something or someone we like or when we’re mentally engaged. Therefore, a quick eyebrow flash, nonverbally communicates, "I’m happy to see you!". The eyebrow flash is possibly something you already do when you acknowledge someone.
Give yourself a body language audit by paying attention to your behaviours. Learn what you do and in which contexts, to see where you can improve.
Team your smile and handshake with an eyebrow flash. And while you’re in the moment, why not go a step further and add a nod…
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Gesture
Nod
Studies show that people who nod, a single nod, to acknowledge their audience or on meeting someone are rated higher in overall performance. It’s a sign of respect in the same way a bow is.
When you team it with positive nonverbal communication signals like a smile, eyebrow flash and handshake, you amplify the friend signals and get yourself off to a great start.
Always practise in a safe environment first. Practise one expression or gesture at a time until it feels natural. Use a mirror and practise on people you know well, before combining all these signals in real-life situations.
Handshake, Genuine Smile and Eyebrow Flash
Examples
Take a look at the following images of people shaking hands. Can you see and feel the difference? Which would make you feel more comfortable?
The third image, showing the handshake with the genuine smile and slight eyebrow flash, creates a higher comfort level and a better first impression–can you see and feel the difference?
Take the time to consider the impression you’re making on others and work towards making small improvements that will go a long way. And remember, as well as improving the way you’ll be perceived, you’ll also be improving the way you feel about yourself.
