Body + Soul: Body language conversation killers
If your conversations seem to dwindle out into cringe-worthy awkwardness, you may be saying or doing something that’s off-putting. If this is you, then fear not, there could be an easy fix.
Shona Hendley from Body + Soul contacted me recently to contribute to an article about conversation killers. My contribution, of course, revolved around nonverbal communication, including body language and expression.
Psychologist, Lauren Florko also contributed to the article with some common mistakes conversation killers make in how they frame their language and the specific words they use that can end a conversation quick smart.
You can read the article here:
Body + Soul: If you're a conversation killer, here's how to stop
Or keep reading to see what I submitted…
Body language and facial Expressions that can kill a conversation:
Negative nonverbal behaviour, including body language and expressions, can be a sure way to kill a conversation, especially when displayed together.
Folded Arms
People fold their arms because it brings comfort when experiencing discomfort. Typically, they are not consciously aware of this discomfort or its source, especially when it's relatively mild. For example, when talking to a stranger, being in an unfamiliar place or talking about an uncomfortable topic.
While there's nothing wrong with folding arms per se, the behaviour is often perceived negatively, because it's a blocking mechanism–a physical barrier between one person and another. Without this barrier, the perception is one of openness and comes across as warm, welcoming and honest.
The best way to maintain open body language is to get used to using hand gestures while talking, with hands relaxed by your sides or resting on a table as you listen. There are many benefits to talking with your hands, including appearing more interesting and engaging. Your message also becomes easier to understand.
Orientation of Body
The orientation of a person's body can make or break a conversation. If the whole of your body (head to toe) faces towards your conversation partner, they feel like they have your full attention and respect.
Facial Expression
In terms of facial expression, it's always good to enter into a conversation with a smile. A genuine smile immediately puts people at ease because it signifies friendship. After that, as long as you're honest, and the topic remains fairly positive, don't worry about your face. Your expressions will run free, reflecting your words, giving the impression you're genuine and authentic.
If your conversation does start to get heated, your expression, for example, anger, could potentially kill the conversation, depending on how well you control it.
Becoming more aware of your nonverbal behaviour is the first step in controlling how other people perceive and respond to you. Without awareness, you can't make small modifications which can provide a more positive experience and outcome.
Concerned you’re a conversation killer?
If you’re concerned that you’re a conversation killer, or feel awkward about having conversations, read my article The Art of Conversation, for some additional tips and techniques. Then if you’re still struggling, contact me and I’d be happy to see how I can help.
