ABC Radio Nightlife Interview: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language

Hiding Nervousness

Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

On Monday, I joined Philip Clark, from ABC Nightlife, for a chat about body language. The topic was actually nonverbal communication, of which body language is one component. But since most people understand the term ‘body language’ and not so many understand the term ‘nonverbal communication’, ABC Nightlife went with the more recognisable term. I often do the same.

Anti-Anxiety Exercises

I was incredibly nervous in the lead up to this interview, so pulled out all of my tricks–deep breathing, power-posing and my lower tones exercise. The problem was, I was connected with ABC for around ten minutes prior to going live and I didn’t want to be heard doing my weird low hum or deep breathing, so I couldn’t fully take advantage of these tricks. Nevertheless, I managed to maintain enough level of calm to have some cognitive capacity left to think clearly-ish.

Stress Affects Thinking

Whenever I get nervous before a show or presentation, which is normal by the way, I know that the feeling is temporary. I just need to get past the first few minutes then I know I’ll relax into it and become present, or even enter a flow state. Fortunately, I knew I’d be asked to explain what nonverbal communication is, so felt confident that I could answer it with reduced cognitive capacity. Because that’s what stress does. It consumes your power to think and as a result, can hinder performance.

I’ve had enough experience and know enough about the body to hack it, so that most people can’t detect my nervousness. But believe me, it’s there and that’s normal. If I can do it, so can you–and I mean that wholeheartedly. To find out why, listen to my chat with Mark and Divan from Candour Communication Podcast.

I have most of my tricks within the articles on this blog, but if you need to get over a similar fear of public speaking–or just speaking up–and would prefer one-to-one help, just give me a shout.

The ABC Nightlife Interview

Before you listen, I’d like to clarify a few points, in case they are confusing:

• I’m not as rude as I sounded when it sounded like I didn’t say hello to Adrian. I said, “Hi”, but must have been muted at the time (there had been a little feedback).

• We went round in circles a little bit on the topic of confident/dominant poses and listening back, maybe I could have been clearer. To clarify some points, confident/dominant poses:

  • They can be deliberate (faked) or an automatic response to how the person feels.

  • Although we can read and understand confident/dominant poses, we’ll never know where they stem from, unless we ask the person in question and they consciously consider their feelings. In other words, it could be deliberate with sexual connotations or to intimidate, but maybe it’s a just a habit, or a confident person in a comfortable stance. Always keep an open mind, then move on to observe other behaviours and see the bigger picture.

  • They can be displayed by both men and women. They are a lot less common in women, so rare to see. To some degree I’m doing the hooding pose right now. I’m leaning back in my chair, with my head resting on one hand (the other is typing). There is nobody here but me. I’m conscious considering how I feel. I feel good. I feel comfortable. I’m stretching my back and my hand is providing support so my neck isn’t strained. I know I would never do this in public, unless I was with very close friends or family. It feels too casual and obnoxious (for me), to display in public. I’d rather go unnoticed, quietly confident.

  • We can see confidence in open body language and straight posture.

  • It’s good to display confidence in terms of other people perceiving you better and for you to experience more positive emotions. But there’s a sweet-spot. Too much and it can be perceived as aggressive. Everything within context.

  • If all men wore skirts, I don’t think man-spreading would be as common. Most men have never worn a skirt, so haven’t had to worry about keeping their legs together.

• I misinterpreted a question, thinking it was about sign language. In hindsight, I would have talked about using hand gestures while talking, since they aid interpretation, understanding and recall of the message, as well as having benefits for the user too.

Body Language on Nightlife

Enjoy the episode…